when you can't breath anymore

it changes, billy,
everything just keeps moving
into something we will never
be able to comprehend.

it never stops,
the thoughts rush through you
like a million haunted monsoons.

the faces,
those goddamn faces
come and go,
and sooner or later
you begin to lose track
as they settle
into a burning coating
over your chest.

eventually
we cry less,
but goddamn,
we remember each and every teardrop
bled
on that silly alter
that someone had the gall
to name love.

and this hurts even more
when nobody is looking,
when it's just you
in that room
where somebody left you.

they will never understand this, billy.
they were just born with better
survival skills.

sometimes
when i think of you,
i understand that thing
you had done.