photography

i always look so wasted in my pictures
even when i'm sober.

i never smile

because the top
of my front teeth
have been knocked the fuck
out,
twice,

and the nicotine
and the coffee
and the red wine
have just shaped the porceline
even worse.

i swear to some god
that when my girlfriend
plays with my mouth,
it's like some slab of clay
that she's been molding
for some statue
in the remembrance of cancer,

and it's then,
that i'm just a little less bright.

and everytime
it's only a flash,

when i'm here,
trying to hide something
like i'm in control
of the lense,
like the distortion
is constructed of
a real face,

and it's here
that i've always been a lie.