in hindsight

i trust the gods
in their architecture.

i trust this house.
i trust this body.

i trust the spit
that holds this heart
over
an open fire.

i trust the outcome
that either places me
up
or down,
somewhere
where existence
isn't necessary.

i trust the odds
and everything that i'll never
be.
i trust in where
i am going.

but i don't pray.
i haven't prayed in years
and i don't think
this is something that can be
measured.

the gods
have already placed their bets
and our bodies are attached
to strings
that make us dangle.

i've searched for their blueprint
with maps and scissors,
and somehow
i always end
up
back here.