inbetween

as a child
projecting dreams
into the summer sky
with nothing
but my eyes,

i couldn't had imagined it this way,

counting the steps
from my apartment door
to
the liquor store,
(183 steps.
to be exact.)

i wanted to be
a 2nd baseman
for the chicago cubs.

and inbetween that time
and now,
the drugs
and booze
and women
and the vagabonding
have happened,

and i'm not really sure
that anything
has happened.

i watch
as this cigarette
wilts
into ash
on an empty beer can,
and understand
how appropriate this is.