tuesday night bar

i can just sit there,
with
a bar full
of people,
alone,
orbiting
my own space.

i can just sit there
content,
with
nothing but
an imagination
and memories
that could
choke a fellow
to death
on his own thoughts.

i see a pretty girl,
and i just don't know why
i ignored her
earlier.

i see a flat screen t.v.,
and my eyes
are only focused
on the scores.

there's nothing to it,
and sometimes
i wish
i were nothing more
than the glazed wood
affixed to this bar.

but
that girl is still there,
ordering another drink,
and the t.v.
just isn't showing me any more
scores
that i've already read
before.

and i'm not alone.
no,
the bartender buys me
a free beer.

this space,
this solitude
that i seek is never free.

then

i orbit,
with a little bit extra, i
buy myself
another drink,
and then i leave,
lost a little bit more
than before.