metamorphosis

it's that inbetween
stage, where
the amount of cigarettes
consumed,
just seems absurd.

where
the time wasted
on the internet,
on those three sites,
the ones where you just
click
back and forth
like ping pong,
and nothing happens.

when you realize you've thrown away
another night
down
life's neck.

the thoughts
are still there,
plotting to eat
what little sanity
you have left,
though they have just
a little less hunger
these days.

and
you notice
the fog
begin to lift
its heavy breath,

enough so, that
right in front of you,
is a real live mountain,
presented
for you to climb.

and your ready,
little by little,
inbetween the nightmares
and vodka,

you resume charting
a map up that mountain.

and all that your going to leave
behind
is the shell
of your ghost.